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I hate waking up at 7-8 in the morning. When it's a weekday, I… - Silicon Rose [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Silicon Rose

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[Sep. 30th, 2007|09:28 am]
Silicon Rose
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

I hate waking up at 7-8 in the morning.

When it's a weekday, I usually struggle out of bed at whatever time I woke up at, do a few chores (put out the garbage, checking my email, etc.), then go to work.  When it's a weekend, I usually laze around for another hour, finally perform my morning absolutions and wander downstairs, do a few chores (checking my email, etc.).  Afterwards, I frequently end up curling up on the couch and trying to go back to sleep.  I usually figure that I should be doing something else - writing, playing video games, studying for my L1 exam, building a model, sketching, working, something - but somehow I can't get over the bend between thinking and action.  Usually, if I do manage to get myself to actually do something, it feels empty and pointless.  Sometimes, if I can actually move from moping to action, the fog fades away.  But on weekends, it's like my body and mind just don't want to do anything.  Usually, it's over by late afternoon.  But sometimes the fog doesn't fade away, and the day is lost in a whirl of trying to do something, finishing the task, lying down on the couch and trying to get to sleep, finally getting up and trying to do something again...

If there's anything you could say that I really want in the mornings, I guess it would be to get out.  Unfortunately, while the northwest is great for almost everything else, facing drizzle alongside fifty degree temperatures doesn't exactly get me going.  And I want to do something, something that I don't have a name for.  I want people, is part of it.  All the silence doesn't help.

I wonder why I want interaction so badly, but when I get it, all I want is to run away.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: tlttlotd
2007-09-30 10:06 pm (UTC)
Just try doing something for ten minutes - give yourself that, before you stop.
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[User Picture]From: siliconrose
2007-10-01 02:42 am (UTC)
Yeah, I do. I usually spend a half hour to an hour on something, frequently finish it, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.
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[User Picture]From: tlttlotd
2007-10-01 02:45 am (UTC)
The difference is in the perception. Once you really look at the progress you make, it becomes more and more easy to work on things.
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[User Picture]From: siliconrose
2007-10-01 03:47 am (UTC)
I know. I've played this game before. The thing is, these mornings, it doesn't seem to work.
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From: quatoes
2007-09-30 10:47 pm (UTC)
I'll agree about the early mornings.

At least I tend to think that since all my major activities don't start until dusk, I can afford to waste time doing nothing, as long as I'm awake until 1 am.
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[User Picture]From: mauracelt
2007-10-01 01:51 pm (UTC)
Maybe being selective about the interaction is what you truly need, like only one or two folks you know well, and have a chat with them? I get that weird Need People thing sometimes, but going out is such a pain for me, so I try to combine stuff and then get overwhelmed for it. Is that something like what you get?
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[User Picture]From: siliconrose
2007-10-02 01:42 am (UTC)
Yeah... I mean, my main source of complex interactions are congoing and work, and neither is low stress...
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[User Picture]From: mauracelt
2007-10-02 02:38 pm (UTC)
Doesn't sound like it. Might try to just get out for coffee or tea with one or two people on a weekend instead of the huge numbers involved in a con event. Might be just what you need! *hug*
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[User Picture]From: froborr
2007-10-01 04:00 pm (UTC)
I also hate waking up at 7-8 a.m., because it means I'm late for work. =P

But seriously, have you considered just going in early on the days you wake up early? You can either knock off some hours toward the 900 you apparently work a week, or you can leave a little early.

I have the precise opposite problem these days, actually; I keep oversleeping. Last week, I didn't wake up on time once; the only times I made it to work on time were the mornings I skipped my own ablutions (which I think is what you mean -- absolution is spiritual cleansing, though I suppose you could mean morning meditation or something), and I felt grimy and itchy all day until I finally managed to shower in the evening.

I wonder why I want interaction so badly, but when I get it, all I want is to run away.

I know the feeling extremely well. I crave interaction to the point that I am seriously considering the possibility that I might be an extravert. But I have so much riding on that interaction (self-esteem, self-worth, mood, even my survival) that it becomes extremely stressful and anxiety-provoking. No idea if your problem is the same, but either way, I commiserate.
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[User Picture]From: siliconrose
2007-10-02 01:41 am (UTC)
I do go in early on the work days I wake up early. The real problem is the weekends, and I try not to work them too much.

Yes, ablutions. Sorry.

I dunno. It frequently seems like when I talk, I'm not satisfied with the conversation. I don't know why, but it feels like there's something missing.
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[User Picture]From: froborr
2007-10-02 04:04 am (UTC)
Darn, I was hoping they actually were morning absolutions. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. It somehow reminds me of the portable coin-operated confessional from Trigun.

I have that feeling with a lot of conversations, too. It sucks. I have no idea what to do about it, either; sorry.
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