How much it sucked, yes, how little progress I've made, no!
Man, I should show you my old writing sometime. If you ever get depressed...
Hey, the last time you did that I got more depressed. ^^ That wasn't bad.
Which writing are YOU thinking of? Because I'm referring to my first "serious" writing attempts, which were a massive jumble of superheroes and fantasy cliches violently ramming heads with my own warped sense of junior-high humor. I don't think I showed you those one, because it's mortally embarassing. (Though the second one is actually pretty amusingly bad, as opposed to miserably bad like the first one.)
Ah, sorry. ^^ Yeah. I'd be pretty ashamed to actually full bore type out some of these stories and share them. I had (and I guess I still have some of) a passion for dark fantasy romance. Even when I know it's awful.
...at least I've more or less gotten over vampires.
You've got me beaten there, I've never broken my obsession with wizards/magic. I just constantly redefine it! Nor have I ever managed to really escape the "epic fantasy" sort of archetype.
I blame video games and anime.
....actually, manga, since I've broken the anime habit...
Being obsessed with wizards and magic isn't shameful (I am too). Being obsessed with the romantic vampire stereotype is (to me).
Eh, I can sort of see why you think that, though I won't agree with you that it's shameful. Like what you like! Heck, our generation takes pride in that.
I have to wonder where my early notebooks went. I almost hope my mother DIDN'T throw them out, so I can someday show either of you, or alternately my poor, deluded offspring (who still think Mom is AWESOME!!), the absolutely hideous writing AND illustration I did. Oh yes, I have early drawings in some of my notebooks, too.
Ugh. There's a part of me that hopes Mom goes, "Oh no, I threw those out years ago!" However, I still have a sneaking suspicion that they're still buried in the back of my closet, just waiting for me to ask. My mother is very like that.
Well, at least when it comes to stories, there might be something salvagable. After all, while a few of my Arcadia stories were vague ripoffs of Anita Blake, they're not even close to plagarism, and not entirely unsalvagable. The similarities end at "snarky kickass female main character who is human servant of vampire," which is general enough - mine took place in the traditional fantasy generic medieval time frame, for example.
Mine were quasi-ripoffs of the general idea of the comic book Power Pack. Basically, kids get super powers from an alien, go on to save world. Then again, I wasn't trying to copy much of anything but that concept. Eh. If they're still there, I might try and see just HOW BAD the writing is...
Though I was like, twelve at the time, so I'm guessing 'pretty bad'.
I just feel like I have a huge blinking neon sign over my head screaming "fangirl".
That would kind of be a cool sign, actually. I mean, to look at, not to have.
Seriously, though, don't sweat it. I think virtually ANY taste a person has will at some point become unpopular or mock-worthy by others at SOME point, so just stick to what you like and who cares what other people think?
Me, I care.
^^ I understand your point. It's just hard.
Yeah, I understand that. It's still a bit awkward for me to buy things like Fraggle Rock DVDs and shojo manga. And I like FFX2, imagine the stigma! But that's no reason to stop, in my mind!
I think when you look back and say, "Man, that sucked!" that indicates how you have made progress. Like if you still thought that was really good, then you'd be in trouble.
And Laurell K. Hamilton has made an awfully good living out of writing vampires, so there can't be anything that wrong with it.
As for "what happened", my personal theory is that it has to do with mind-space. When you have a demanding job that interests you, or a hobby, or whatever, that takes up processor cycles that could otherwise be devoted to world-building or coming up with dialogue or whatever. I often get the feeling that writing isn't something I do at any given moment, it's a process that goes on all day and I periodically have to jot it down. When I get really involved in something else, sometimes that slows things down quite a bit.
^^ Oh god, would I ever be in trouble.
Writing you can make an awfully good living off of and good writing are, unfortunately, not always the same thing.
Good point... my daily life isn't exactly conducive to thoughts about writing. But even when I get them, I get distracted by video games or books very easily.
Meanwhile I've written 2000 words yesterday and am on track for similar today, all while at work. It's HOME that keeps me from writing!
Going back and reading what you wrote and thought was good when younger is quite embarrassing. On the other hand you can pat yourself on the back and be relieved taht you never actually got around to publishing it, right? :P
Seriously though, I think most geeky types have a phase of complete and utter self-satisfying escapism. That's why we get all the teenagers writing MarySues. Eventually you outgrow it. Or make bestselling novels of really crappy quality out of them.
Even now though, I do look back on some of my earlier writing and work and pick bits that weren't too mangled to add to my current efforts. You never know when an idea could come in handy. After you iron out all the stupid, that is.
True. Thank god I didn't really have the internet for most of it. Some of my crappy poetry did, but most of my actual writing? Nope.
At least you don't have incredibly crappy 10-year-old *shudder* fanfiction with your REAL NAME plastered on it floating around on still-active sites...
Also, LJ is being stupid. "Dialogue" is correct.
Somewhere up there you mentioned romantic vampire fic. I took a course in college on the adaptation of 19th-century horror literature into 20th-century film, and it is intriguing to me that vampires steadily transformed over the course of the century from being depicted as disgusting, terrifying monsters not all that different from zombies to fascinating, seductive romantic figures. Bram Stoker is responsible for a lot of that, of course, by making his vampire a metaphor for the seductive influence of the exotic on British culture, but I think there may be more to it than that. Not entirely sure what, though.
^^ Oof. Though, at least your name is reasonably common, right?
Thanks. I thought it was correct -- seeing LJ say it was wrong made a little question mark pop up over my head. To me, 'dialog' and 'dialogue' are two very different things, but I've certainly been wrong before.
Meh... I can think of a lot of reasons, but I'm probably blowing smoke. Romantic vampires have become a cliche of their own.
"I vont to suck your blood!"
Or something. I blame a lot of it on Dracula, and more of it on Anne Rice and stuff like the White Wolf RPGs. The angst appeals to the goth-predisposed crowd.
But that's basically saying "It's popular because there's a group that it appeals to." That's a tautology. What I'm curious about is what it says about us that such a crowd has come into being. Why are we as a culture interested in these things when the culture from which we are descended wasn't? What are the social forces that provoke (largely) middle-class-to-wealthy adolescents to become obsessed with death-play and despair-kitsch?
Chicken and egg question. The ideas have always been floating out there. You get a couple of kids who are resentful of their parents and have too much time on their hands (unlike earlier eras, modern people are much more idle), they latch on to one idea and then it spreads.
Lack of fear? These days we foster more than ever the false belief in immortality -- thus the craving to do something 'risky'?
Um, no. Both my first and last name are quite uncommon. Add to that the fact that on two of these sites the name Froborr appears as well, and I'm the only Froborr on the Internet... yeah. Part of the reason I make no attempt to disguise my identity (other than the fact that I don't really care, I mean) is that the cat is long out of the bag. I just wish I could find a way to erase those stories from history...
Sorry, apparently I was hallucinating. I could have sworn that when I googled you last (because of your post about not being worried about what was on the internet), I found other people. Apparently these other people were people in my head. ^^;;
The reason why I try to be vaguely circumspect with regards to my real identity is because recruiters will often google a candidate before an interview or job offer.
I understand that. It's the reason my brother put forward that I shouldn't burn a flag tomorrow. I personally don't care, but that's because I don't care whether or not I'm employed tomorrow.